On Sunday night, after the US women’s soccer team was eliminated from the World Cup, former president Donald Trump took to social media to express his disappointment in the outcome, while self-deprecatingly acknowledging that the women on the field have more athleticism in their big toes than he does in his entire body. No, just f–king with you, of course. That scenario is about as likely as the ex-president publishing an essay on Substack admitting that he’s come to realize the damage he’s done to the country over the last seven-to-eight years, and why it would be totally inappropriate for him to serve a second term, or Melania Trump saying in an interview that one thing people don’t know about her husband is that he’s a “gentle lover who puts his partner’s needs before his own.”

Instead, the ex-president logged on to Truth Social to type/scream: “The ’shocking and totally unexpected’ loss by the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team to Sweden is fully emblematic of what is happening to the our once great Nation under Crooked Joe Biden. Many of our players were openly hostile to America – No other country behaved in such a manner, or even close. WOKE EQUALS FAILURE. Nice shot Megan, the USA is going to Hell!!! MAGA.”

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Obviously, there’s a lot going on here. There’s the idea that the US women’s soccer team lost because its players have gone “woke,” i.e. a Republican obsession that they themselves are unable to define. There’s an attempt to jam in an attack on Biden, and suggest that he played a role in the outcome. (Maybe Hunter Biden and his associates paid the team to throw the game! A GOP panel should look into this ASAP!) And there’s a five-alarm declaration that “the USA is going to Hell!!!,” which are definitely the words, and sentiment, of a rational individual who people should trust with the nuclear codes.

Mostly, though, it’s the taunting of player Megan Rapinoe—whom Trump has a history with—that sticks out, and not just because he’s mocking a player who represents the United States, which he is hoping to lead (“lead”) again come January 20, 2025. Trump’s ridicule seems especially notable because he apparently sees nothing untoward about attacking someone else’s athleticism, despite the fact that, when it comes to his sport of choice, he’s known for cheating all the time. In January, for example, he allegedly cheated at a tournament at his own golf club. That came after years of honing his craft, cheating, the details of which were reported in 2019 in Rick Reilly’s Commander in Cheat: How Golf Explains Trump, which includes such gems as:

Trump doesn’t just cheat at golf. He cheats like a three-card Monte dealer. He throws it, boots it, and moves it. He lies about his lies. He fudges and foozles and fluffs. At Winged Foot, where Trump is a member, the caddies got so used to seeing him kick his ball back onto the fairway they came up with a nickname for him: “Pele.”


To say “Donald Trump cheats” is like saying “Michael Phelps swims.” He cheats at the highest level. He cheats when people are watching, and he cheats when they aren’t. He cheats whether you like it or not. He cheats because that’s how he plays golf, that’s how he learned it, that’s how he needs it, and whether you’re his pharmacist or Tiger Woods, if you’re playing golf with him, he’s going to cheat. In fact, he did cheat with Tiger Woods.


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