If You’ve Got the Ruler, Elon Musk Has the Dick: Billionaire Challenges Mark Zuckerberg to “Literal Dick Measuring Contest”


Last week, Mark Zuckerberg’s Meta officially launched Threads, a text-based app many hope will replicate the Twitter experience but with fewer white nationalists. Not surprisingly, given that words like “Twitter killer” have been thrown around, the higher-ups at the Elon Musk–owned social media company are not thrilled with the competition. On Wednesday, Twitter sent a legal warning to Zuckerberg threatening to sue, and on Sunday, the richest man in the world suggested he and his rival settle things like totally well-adjusted adults: by whipping out their actual penises.

That’s right: following his call for a cage match with Zuckerberg—which his mom is against—Musk took to Twitter last night to propose a “literal dick measuring contest.”

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And just in case you were thinking this was all in good humor, and that Musk actually likes Zuckerberg a lot, before he proposed the measuring contest, the Twitter owner described the Meta CEO as a “cuck.” (It’s not clear which definition of cuck Musk thinks applies to his rival; the ones offered by Merriam-Webster are: “(1) a man whose wife is unfaithful: cuckold. (2) informal, disparaging + often offensive : a weak or submissive man. Often used as an insulting and contemptuous term for a man who has politically progressive or moderate views.”)

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Like the aforementioned cage match, this particular competition seems unlikely to ever happen, but of course, we’re talking about two billionaires, and those people are known for doing dumb shit for sport—so, hey, who knows! In related news, Twitter was endorsed by the leader of the Taliban on Monday.





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