At some point in the near future, Donald Trump is going to have to pick a 2024 running mate and would-be VP, and while we now know that this specific job includes responsibilities like “being okay with the boss calling you a pussy,” “rolling with the punches when the boss’s supporters threaten to hang you,” and “understanding that, from time to time, the boss will blame you for his insurrections,” there are, somehow, still people who actually want it. Badly!

Rolling Stone reports that conservative nightmares Marjorie Taylor Greene and Kari Lake are currently in a “death race” to be named Trump‘s 2024 VP, a job that we again must emphasize involves working for a guy who thinks nothing of siccing his blood-thirsty followers on individuals he’s mad at. (That is, of course, if he’s the GOP nominee, which very much looks like will be the case). While the women have kept it civil in public, the outlet reports, “behind the scenes, the two view one another with intense distrust and disdain, each seeing the other as direct competition for Trump’s political affections,” according to several people familiar with the matter. Viewing Lake as a direct threat for the gig, Greene has reportedly “gone beyond simple attempts to raise her own profile in the ongoing Trump veepstakes,” and has recently taken to “trash-talking” the failed Arizona gubernatorial candidate to “to others in the MAGA elite, political circles, and conservative media, multiple.” (Last spring, People revealed that in an effort to win the VP nod, Lake had practically moved into Mar-Lago, and was spending more time there than Melania Trump, a.k.a. the ex-president’s wife.)

Hilariously—if the notion of an accused criminal returning to power with a VP whose grasp on reality is nonexistent is funny—Greene’s biggest complaint about Lake is said to be that she is not “serious” enough to be a heartbeat away from the presidency. (Obviously, that’s one hundred percent true, but it’s also true that an individual best known for promoting QAnon, harassing a school shooting survivor, and the whole Jewish space lasers business should also not be allowed anywhere near the halls of power.) “MTG thinks [Lake] is a scammer and not even a conservative,” a source told Rolling Stone, adding that the Georgia congresswoman has said that “Lake is a grifter and [is] trying to keep riding Trump’s coattails because she lost [in Arizona], so she’s cozying up on the election-integrity messaging.” Said another person familiar with Greene’s point of view, Greene “thinks it’s complete nonsense that anyone would think it’s a good idea for Donald Trump to consider [Kari] for VP.”

As for whether or not either woman has any chance whatsoever of being named Trump’s running mate, that is unclear as this time. According to Rolling Stone, the ex-president has “made a point of repeatedly commending each of them for their frequent efforts—both publicly and behind the scenes with lawmakers and grassroots activists—to aid his 2024 campaign.” On the other hand, numerous people close to Trump have put the odds of either Greene or Lake being added to the ticket at slim to none, with several boldly declaring that even Trump is not “stupid enough” to make one of them his running mate. (In July, the Daily Beast reported that Lake’s strategy of being in Trump’s face as much as possible had backfired, and that the he’d become “less enthusiastic” about her, having decided she was too much of a “spotlight hound.”)

But don’t go thinking that a second Trump administration would be a Greene-free affair, because even if Rep. Gazpacho Police (R-Crazy Town) doesn’t make it to the ticket, it seems there’ll still be a place for her somewhere:

>Trump has suggested to close associates that Greene would be “great” in some position of seniority in his potential second administration, whether in the cabinet, at an agency, or in the West Wing at his side. The ex-president even floated the idea of installing her at the Justice Department; this confused some in Trump’s orbit because, as a source bluntly put it: “I don’t think she’s a lawyer.”

As for Lake, it’s possible she might take herself out of the running, having suggested she may run for Senate.

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